Inside the Minds: I Waited 24 Years for Her

XFINITE asked a person to share the love story of their life.

To understand my story, you have to not think about it. You have to feel it. You see, for me, true love is the love from the heart. It is love without reasons, without conditions. Just love. It feels like warmth, peace, and safety. Although it originates from the heart, when you feel love, you feel it all over the whole of your body.

You see, I believe it’s not possible to have more than one true love. There must be just one. Only one. If it’s just a moment, it can’t be true. Love is supposed to be long-term where all lies couldn’t hide. It is a bond that couldn’t be broken, a special someone you truly can’t live without.

My heart just told me that it was her. I’ve never felt like that with anyone else before. It wasn’t even an attraction. No, it wasn’t even love at first sight. I just find myself doing things I never let myself do with anyone else before. I can’t help but open myself up to her. All the things she said and did makes me feel happy, my heart stuck and my body burned. I just find myself smiling without a reason.

People asked me how I decided she is the one. The truth is, I didn’t decide. There’s only one. That one. It’s her. I can feel it when I meet her, talk to her, and her pain becomes my own. All I’ve ever wanted is my love. And deep inside me, I believed she was out there. I always did. I always have.

I didn’t think she would be perfect ― you can only think that when you set out a standard for your special one. I didn’t have expectations. I didn’t seek her out in everyone I ever met. But there she came, flying into my life. When I think about her, I have more energy to work, to fight, to be anyone I want to be. Sometimes I wonder how I ever made it out before her.

People asked me how it felt to be alone for 24 years. It was a little lonely. It’s like you float without a specific direction. Alone, I did not have a world. I have to share it with other people. But when I have love, I have my own world created with her. Don’t get me wrong. You can be happy alone, but it just feels like there are missing things deep down there.

The most unbelievable thing is we think of the same things all the time. We always went to the same places even before we met. It’s like our hearts sing the same song. She’s awesome, friendly, independent, strong, and flexible. And the way she smiles and looks at me, I feel so loved. I can see her eyes are full of me. I can feel our sync.

I never thought I would never find her. I just knew I would. I never tried to find my true love. But I just found it. And my life has never been the same. I think I’m more than lucky to have found my true love. My 24 years of waiting was definitely worth it. I can wait longer than this. I can wait for 5, 10, or 20 more years. I think my waiting is my ignoring all the distractions in the world that could potentially steer me away from her.

I don’t think people should think about the reasons why they fall in love with someone. I think they should not find love just to heal the sadness and loneliness. They shouldn’t try to push themselves to feel someone just because of fear, guilt, or trauma. Don’t take the unnecessary amount of pain just to belong in your society.

If I stopped waiting, I would be with someone. I would hurt them. In the process of hurting them, I hurt myself. Because you tried to make work the things that are not supposed to work. If I could not find her, I would still be me, alone as always. I don’t know where she would be though. She would still be everywhere, possibly searching for me.

I want to thank my love. Thank you, love. Thank you for everything you’ve given me. I can feel your beautiful pure love that runs deeper than the veins of the universe. If I could give you one thing in life, I’ll give you the ability to see you through my eyes, so you know how special you are to me, how much I care about you, and how much I think about you.


VITAK CHEAV


 

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