If you only shine light on your flaws, all your perfects will dim. ― Hoover
Here’s the thing. Anyone can be beautiful if you know how to look. And that also includes you. It is unrealistic to assume that you can see all the perfects in everyone. It is also a little narcissistic if you stare at your naked reflections all day.
Until our fears can be written in our flesh, our imperfections continue to be infinite. We beat ourselves up every day. We form a villain version of everyone we know and give them permission to suffocate our souls. We create stains in our once beautiful colors, darkening every thought we ever have.
It is so easy to keep catching flaws, blaming our parents for our demons. We never stop to think they are dealing with their own demons every day. All we do is generate battles that should not be there. All we do is build brick walls made of our insecurities for someone else.
I once visited Magic Wings, a butterfly conservatory garden in Deerfield, Massachusetts. The moment I set foot in the garden, I was surprised. I had never seen so many butterflies in my life. Then, one guy with the weirdest beard I had ever seen caught my eyes. It was not the fact that he was completely covered with butterflies. It was the fact that he was the only one.
I couldn’t help but stare. The guy was in his Hawaiian shirt, a pair of sunglasses and headphones, and both his thumbs matched his index fingers. He sat so still it was as if he was afraid to breathe. Around him, everyone tried to imitate him, hoping they too could get one butterfly to land on themselves.
Fascinated, I sat down on a bench next to him. I held out both of my hands and waited. One minute later, a yellow and black butterfly landed on my very palm. A few seconds later, another one of the same colors landed on the tip of my ring finger. The third one found my thumb, both of its wings held together like a body clap. Never in my life had I ever known I loved butterflies until then. Never in my life had I ever known how good it feels when a butterfly lands on someone’s finger in a movie.
I sat there for a long time, totally ready to call my butterflies “friends”. I came to notice that there was a woman in a wheelchair in front of me. She seemed rather sad that there was no butterfly on her hands even though she came here before I did. I walked to her and offered my butterflies. She took them with a wide smile.
Once I came back to my seat, all my butterflies gradually flew back to me. Then the guy in Hawaiian shirt did the most unexpected thing. He slowly turned his head to me and said: “kindness always wins”. That was the only thing he said the entire time he was there.
I did not really know how that guy attracted those butterflies. I also did not know why he said that. But if I had to guess, I think he was not really thinking about being the only one with all the butterflies. I think he focuses on something beyond that, some positive energy which even animals can sense. That is possibly the same energy that made my butterflies come back to me.
Anyone can be beautiful if you know how to look. Anything can be attracted if it comes from a place with a little more peace than selfishness and insecurities. Any lie can sound better than the truth if the deliverer truly believes it.
This is not about getting what you want in life. This is about changing the way you see people. This is about creating that balance and positive energy within yourself so that you realize that everyone is made up of ugly-beautiful pieces.
And, like Hoover said, all the perfects will dim if you magnify the uglies.