They want to see you do good but never better than them.
That does sound so horrible, does it not? Sometimes, we listen to these thoughts ―these inner demons that dig for the ugly parts of us. The parts we are so ashamed of. The parts that should not be there. The parts which we want our friends to fail. But why?
We were told to be great.
Our lives drive us crazy. We are constantly running in an endless race, collecting the meaning to satisfy our system. We were raised to be great. We want so much to be significant. Isn’t it heartbreaking to be forgotten once we leave this earth forever and ever? Wouldn’t it be nice to be remembered?
We think we were born with a purpose greater than ourselves. We believe our existence was meant for something prominent. Our core burns with the desire to be a part of something that changes the world for the greater good. Our soul screams for lasting growth. So when we see our friends doing better, our self-esteem goes south and our heads sink underwater.
Why do you think we were so creative as children? We had all the power and absolutely zero fear. We knew not failure. We knew only success. We were carefully sharpened swords crafted to win the war. We thought we were made to rebuild Angkor Wat. We thought we were made to be the next greatest.
So when we are set out on the battlefield to fail, how could we not be jealous of other people’s success? How could we not compare our significance to our friends? How could we not question what is wrong with us?
Friendship starts when two find common ground. We can’t help but wonder what makes the people close to us so much more worthy. Our creativity slowly leaves us as our fear grows. A friend’s failure gives us more comfort and less pressure to succeed.
We need to stop feeding our inner demons.
We need to stop our lives from drifting in the battle, begging for a little more comfort. How further do you want to be dragged into this loophole? How further do you want to pretend to be happy when you are not? How long does it take before you start wishing for your lovers to fail too?
You need to redefine your purpose.
Do you want to be successful or be fulfilled? Do you only want to be famous and not fill up that void inside you? Let go of all the expectations. Bring yourself back to life. What were you like before all of these competitions? What were you like before you started losing yourself?
Accept the truth. Your purpose is not what is expected of you. Your purpose is your creation, your value. Your purpose is what makes you utterly, truly, completely happy. It does not have to be one big thing. It can be so many small things.
Don’t forget to be kind.
You will never be happy if you rise up by stepping on your friends’ heads. You will only be happy if you rise up together. You will only be happy when you find what makes you smile every single day. Then you can help your friends find what makes them smile too.
How many times in your life did you do something no one can ever repay you back? When was the last time you told someone they are beautiful? When was the last time you were there when your friends need you most?
If you focus too much on wanting to be great, that is when you start stabbing your friends.
The greatest people never intended to be great.
They just have a lot of friends.
© VITAK CHEAV