When we don’t know who to hate, we hate ourselves. ― Palahniuk.
You are on the run.
What makes it worse is that you did not pack light. You have a gigantic backpack tagging along. You have carried it for way too long to the point where it becomes a part of your body. Inside that backpack lies everything that makes you unhappy. You can never stop lifting though. You can never stop dragging.
It is so easy to be hidden within the introverted shell sometimes. It is so easy for people to think that your mind is as silent as you choose to share. People are too busy that they forget you are running too. No matter how hard you try, they still spill some more weight onto your existing pressure.
Those words. Those dark shadows of anger. You are not responsible. Why do people just expect you to heal them? Why do people keep taking? Can they not see you bleeding? Unleash it on you however they want. Crash you apart because you will never even complain. You won’t.
It takes one person to make you feel like the whole world hates you.
That one person whose opinion matters the most. That crazy boss who doesn’t appreciate you. That member of the family who never believes in you. That who tries to downgrade your value. That whom you can never please. That who will never be yours. That who adds on to your backpack.
Outcast or not, everybody is only human. You hurt and you get hurt. You need that one person to understand you. You are so desperate to catch their attention. You hope to be good enough for someone. Soon enough, you end up battling against yourself based on the expectations you set for yourself.
And then you lose your own fight. You retreat into your barbed-wire walls, letting your insecurities get the best of you. By this point, you are the most wicked version of you because of nobody other than yourself. Now you unconditionally believe that you will never be good enough. You cut yourself up and lay all the pieces of you for the ground to rot.
The truth is the things happened to you are only events. You are a warrior. You are a survivor. You have made it this far, thinking the world is against you. It doesn’t mean you cannot change that. Everything is not fixed. Everyone is not fixed.
It takes one person to make you feel like the whole world loves you.
Failure is an event. It is not you. It does not define you. You are granted the permission to scoop all smithereens of your self-doubt up and set it on fire. You need to believe in the law of attractions because all that you are is all that you believe.
Do people ignore you? Do they criticize you? Does that subtle joke hurt your feelings? Never ever be sorry for the things that you feel. It takes courage to be creative. It takes courage to be weird. It also takes courage to tell the world what it is like to be you.
Shift the frame in that situation you hate. Do not accept the two offers if you can create your own third option. Stop faking smiles just to fit in like a robot. Be who you are and be kind. Walk like the floor is your red carpet. Live like somebody might throw a knife at you tomorrow. Smile like it is the poison to your worst enemy. Love like there is no space left within your heart to hate.
The key to being strong is to convince yourself you are strong. You have to believe in you first. People can only torture you with your consent. The world can only hate you if you let it. How much time do you have left in this world? How brave are you to be scared and do it anyway?
The world doesn’t hate you. You hate you. And you should knock it off.
Take off your backpack.
© VITAK CHEAV